Moments

Thursday night, September 28, 2006 was the night I was the happiest I ever remember being. I lay in bed with my foot touching my lover’s. I mouthed silently “thank you thank you thank you thank you…” to whatever God might be listening.

I knew in that moment that such elation was a transitory state. This too shall pass and all that. I knew then that I would again encounter sorrow and pain, and that as happy as I was, I would one day be equally distraught. I knew also that all the pain life could raise would be worth that moment of transcendental joy.

Now I’m in the darkness. I don’t recall ever feeling so lonely or broken or scared. I’m not surprised by my feelings, but the circumstances… How could a storm blacken the sky so quickly and totally? But such feelings are not built to last anymore than sublime happiness. This too shall pass and all that.

But I remember that ecstacy. I remember him and all the glorious feelings that overflowed from my being. I stand by it. That moment was worth it all… the pain I feel now and the pain to come. There will, of course, also be experiences of rapture, love, joy, and sweetness, and I welcome each one with open arms. Perhaps, if I’m lucky, and if I’m open enough, I’ll know a second moment like that Thursday night in September. That would be cool. And if not, praise God and Goddess for the one I had. I will always remember. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you…

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2 thoughts on “Moments

  1. My Dearest Boston,

    Your writing filled my heart with joy and love for you. Just knowing you are in this world, with the understanding of life that you have, makes me less lonely. You are a kindred spirit and though we see each other rarely, you are in my heart forever. I completely identified with your blog and I want you to know…I love you, now and always.
    Love,
    Brooke

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