Dear Santa Claus,
It’s Boston. I know I haven’t written to you for a long time. I guess I only think to write to you when I want something. Not very nice, is it? But I guess I’ve had everything I wanted for a lot of years, and that’s why I haven’t written. Thank you for all the toys you’ve given me in the past, especially Lazer Tag and all the He-Man figures.
How are Mrs. Claus and the reindeer? Is Rudolph’s nose still shining so bright? And are the elves still having fun making toys? It seems like China is taking all their jobs. (Do the elves ever use lead in their toys? I don’t know what the North Polar manufacturing standards are.)
I’m a grownup now. Can you believe it? I’m 32 years old. I still want stuff just like when I was a kid, but it’s different now, too.
Santa, I am writing because I want something. Can you bring me some new happiness. I don’t know where I left it, but I seem to have lost some over the years. I could sure use some more happiness. I don’t know where to buy it, though. I don’t think you can buy happiness. Is it illegal? I learned in school I have a right to pursue it… but what about having it? Santa, I’d be so grateful if you’d bring me some happiness for Christmas this year. I don’t need any new toys. I have so many. Just remind me how to have fun with the toys I have. Thank you, Santa, for all the toys… and for the happiness, if you can swing it.
PS… Some new speakers would be great, too, preferably made by elves.